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10 Things Men Wish Women Knew About Them By Brendan Tapley

Damon — Sat, 06 Mar 2010 15:33:33 +0000

Here’s the standard line on men: We’re simple, straightforward, limited—and usually perfectly happy to leave it there. Why? Because it keeps your expectations of us low. But here’s the single biggest thing women don’t get about men: Masculinity is a complicated performance we agree to in order to be seen as men. Unfortunately, that performance is more designed to conceal than reveal us. For instance, it’s easier and more “masculine” for us to talk about the great sex we had rather than describe the great conversation afterward. So, a woman ends up knowing the male script, but not the man. Breaking character, then, I give you (in random order) 10 things he wishes you knew about him.

1. Even Men Like Compliments Every Once in a While
Real guys, or so the story goes, don’t need praise. Especially not about girlish things, like if those jeans show off our assets. But the truth is, men enjoy a little well-intentioned objectification. A squeeze of the biceps and a lingering stare when we reach for the top shelf—these remind us of what attracted you to us and appeal to our Darwinian sense of selectivity (i.e., what keeps you choosing us over the other monkeys). It also makes it OK, even desirable, to send a little objectification your way, too. And just to be clear, the praise doesn’t need to be physical. In fact, it’s important that women commend those things masculinity tends to belittle, like if we’re good cooks or get passionate about foreign films. Tell us, too, when we’ve been a good father, a caring son or a helpful husband. Watch how much faster the toilet gets cleaned.

2. We Are Brutally Honest Because We Care
We know that, at times, tact can be the only four-letter word that doesn’t describe us, but women need to rethink their reactions to male candor. Men lie and obfuscate with people they have no interest in. The art of BS—and indulging others with their BS—is how we get through the day. But with you, lucky you, we want to forget all that. We want to tell you why your mother bothers us and how you can solve the problem with your high-maintenance friend. In a relationship, honesty is a young man’s mistake because the longer a man feels punished for it, the more he begins to censor himself. And that’s when you really need to worry.

3. You Should Appreciate Our Reliability
Similar to honesty, a good man demonstrates his commitment to you by showing up. So it’s more than a little irritating to hear about your fascination with the jerk who has mastered the art of illusion: He’s there, but not really. It’s a vicious cycle—the more men feel those guys get the benefits of your time and attention, the more incentive we have to become those guys. And that’s bad for both of you since more of those guys turn your illusion into our delusion.

4. Love Means Never Having to Be Attached at the Hip
We acknowledge the importance of couple time. We’d even go so far as to say that, in the best relationships, love that is asserted each day deepens and extends. Lost in this, however, is the belief that time spent enriching oneself also enriches partnerships. In other words, going on a hiking weekend with the boys does not diminish the bond we share. Like women need the affirmation of their girl friends, guys need the companionship of other men. This kind of solo time will refresh us and we’ll come back with more for you.

5. We Respect You as Females—and Love What Makes You Women
It is sad to say that equality in our times means adopting the worst of both sexes: Men get more sexualized and women can be cruder. And while no fair-minded guy wants women to return to the 1950s sitcom (although coming home to a roast chicken and a stiff drink ain’t bad as a fantasy), neither do we want the elimination of the feminine as a virtue. Don’t be ashamed to hold on to those things that make you different from us, like how you care about smelling nice or reminding us of empathy. That isn’t regressive; it’s just beautiful. To see the exception, read #6.

6. Be the Boss in the Bedroom
Two words: Unleash yourself. Express your fantasies. Use your hands along with your…imagination. Show us who’s boss and give us good directions—you already know we don’t do well asking for them. Your explanations will heighten our intuition and your pleasure.

7. Our First Commitment Is to Ourselves
One of the biggest complaints by women (for the second, read #8) is that men don’t commit. Right or wrong, men are raised to believe that a successful life hinges on self-fulfillment. Relationships, at first glance, seem to impinge on that. They make men nervous that the pursuit of happiness will become the path of missed opportunity. But men do come around to understand that true self-fulfillment depends on fulfilling another. What can you do in the meantime? Take a page from our script on this one and focus on your self-fulfillment, your own passions. This kind of healthy withdrawal will make pursuing you part of our happiness.

8. For Us, Seeing Is Believing
Want to know why men like sports? Pure, measurable success. At the end of the game, no one can dispute the number of touchdown passes or homeruns. An athlete works toward a goal and is rewarded with concrete proof of his effort. What is the irrefutable proof of a successful emotional life? Here, the data is less tangible. Men fear endeavors where success is vague because failure seems a likely result. In case you hadn’t noticed, we hate to fail. One way to take the failure out is to become his ally in those pursuits that bring him emotionally alive; his attempt at wholeness there will illuminate the great rewards of an emotional life elsewhere.

9. We May Lose Small Battles, but Always Remember the Wars We’ve Won
How important is putting the toilet seat down if the yard is mowed each week? Does it matter that an item was forgotten at the store when he checked off the rest? If he let the kid go to his friend’s with a stained shirt but made sure to spend time on his science project, is there a point to mentioning it? Women should remember to give credit where credit is due.

10. Fathers Are Just as Important as Mothers

It can seem, at times, that the world elevates the feminine over the masculine and that the lessons men can impart are outmoded or regarded as Neanderthal. But when a bully is picking on your son, your husband showing him how to throw a punch is not nonsensical. Or if your daughter has an athletic talent, his testosterone-fueled guidance may teach her more than just competitiveness. Honoring what men know based on their experiences is just as valuable to the young as the insights of women. Freely sharing his wisdom prevents imbalance, both in us and those we seek to help.

5 Important Things to Have When Starting a Training Regimen

Damon — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 20:02:23 +0000

1. The George Foreman Grill- Grilled food. All the flavor with less fat! Enough said.

2. A well made, easy to clean juicer. Dr. Oz, Oprah’s health expert says he drinks his 3-5 servings of fruits and vegetables before lunch time, in one single glass. You want to focus on the energy you get from foods first. Pay attention to the energy to gain by monitoring your ability to get up in the morning. At least once a week, push yourself to go longer, harder. Keep a cardio diary to write your progress. You will be compensated with more energy.

3. Cooking spray. It’s quick. It’s easy. Eggs whites and seared chicken breast slide right out the pan. You can also spray vegetables in a stir fry without adding the excess fat of butter or margarine. And that’s not all you need to compromise. Many lite and low-fat condiments aren’t too bad. See what you can tolerate. Low fat cheese, milk, yogarts, mayonaise. You can still have your foods if you learn to enjoy them with less fat.

4. Have low-cal snacks available. This one here applies to the trainee that’s always on the go. No time to cook a meal? Then maybe you should consider a meal replacement bar. Want a quick snack between meals? Prepare some low-calorie Jello to sooth that sweethtooth. There are plenty of low-cal desserts you can buy, but beware of pre-package goods. These are only quick snacks so moderation is the key.

5. Drinking tea can lead to beneficial results when dieting. This is especially true when it comes to the benefits of green tea for dieting. The benefits of green tea for dieting and medical use have been recognized for centuries in countries like India and China. Green tea has been proven to reduce cholesterol levels, as well as triglycerides. It can even prove beneficial for those who wish to increase their HDL (“good”) cholesterol levels. A boost in the immune system, as well as weight loss, has been seen in those who drink green tea on a regular basis. Green tea also provides anti-cancer agents that can also be found in black tea. When dieting, some of the benefits of drinking green tea can be seen through the high concentration of antioxidants that can be found. Reports have found that green tea possesses 50 times more strength than Vitamin E and C. Studies have also shown that the benefits of green tea for dieting are visible when drinking one cup every day for one year. A loss of five pounds is one of the advantages to making this a habit. (ezinearticles.com)

When it’s time to do the nasty, take your time!

Damon — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 13:38:55 +0000

You’re fit—and strong. And when it comes to bedding your girl, you nail it fast and hard, just the way she likes it. Problem is, it’s not the way she LOVES it. Learn more about the slow groove and you may just realize what women have known for years—slow sex is better.

WHY SHE LIKES IT SLOW

Just because a woman is wet, that doesn’t mean she’s near climax. A good rule of thumb: Take the amount of time you think she needs, and double it. If she’s ready sooner, you’ll know it.

Synchronicity is overrated. Women don’t care when they have an orgasm—as long as they get one. The longer you stimulate them—and the slower you take things—the more likely for her to have an orgasm.

Hell, sex is fun. You rush through the workday and always try to be efficient, but when it comes to play—any kind of play—make it count. She needs the break and pleasure as much as you do.

WHY YOU’LL BENEFIT FROM TAKING YOUR TIME

Men need more time to recover from sex than women do. It’s called a “refractory period,” and there’s little you can do to speed it up. Meaning, if you get off quickly, that’s it—end of show.

Sex is better than Tylenol. According to Annie Sprinkle, Ph.D., a porn star/prostitute turned sexed educator, sex promotes the production of pain-reducing compounds called neuropeptides.

Two words: stronger orgasms. The slower you take things, and the more times you get close to the edge without going over, the more powerful the release will be when you finally climax.

HERE ARE A FEW FOOLPROOF POINTERS FOR LENGTHING THE TIME OF YOUR LOVEMAKING . . .

1. Do reps. According to the sex therapist Barbara Keesling, Ph.D., the stronger the muscles that control your orgasm are, the longer you’ll last during sex. To strengthen them, contract the muscles you use to stop urinating for two seconds and release. Repeat 20-60 times daily.

2. Take deep breathes during sex. Forget reciting baseball stats. If you want to last longer, you need to slow your breathing down when you are close to ejaculating. Focusing on how quickly you inhale and exhale can help you avoid climaxing before you’re ready.

3. While women just have one G spot, men have the equivalent of two: one near the prostate, and one on top of the penis, just below the head. That’s why it’s important to alternate between long and short strokes. You’ll last longer, excite her, and get the extra stimulation you might other wise have missed banging it like a jackhammer.

Obesity: Is there a way to fight it?

Damon — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 13:07:36 +0000

Nearly two-thirds of the United States population is overweight. There are many ways to determine if a person is overweight, but experts believe that a person’s body mass index (BMI) is the best way to assess an adult’s weight in relation to their height.

A BMI between 18.5 and 24.9 is considered normal.
Adults with a BMI between 25 and 29.9 are considered overweight. There are exceptions. For example, an athlete may have a higher BMI but not be overweight.
Adults with a BMI greater than 30 are considered obese.
Adults with a BMI greater than or equal to 40 are considered extremely obese.
Anyone more than 100 pounds overweight is considered morbidly obese.

A person with a high BMI may have a normal amount of body fat if they have a lot of muscles.

It’s important to remember:

Weight control is not simply a matter of willpower. Genes help determine the body’s “set point,” which is defended by the brain.

Dieting alone is rarely successful, and relapse rates are high.

Moderate exercise, too, rarely results in substantive long-term weight loss, which requires intensive exercise.

The only path to long-term weight loss is a healthy lifestyle change!

Is your cellphone giving you cancer?

Damon — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 01:49:48 +0000

Cell phones and radiation 2:35

CNN’s Brian Todd looks at a new report that lists radiation levels from cell phones and BlackBerries.

Is Your Mate Causing You To Gain Weight?

Damon — Sun, 13 Sep 2009 22:27:45 +0000

How Couples can Implement a Healthy Eating Plan

Assess Your Diet

The beginning of developing a healthy eating plan for you and your partner is evaluating your lifestyle. You probably have some bad eating habits and they must be stopped if a plan is to be effective. Examining the food choices you are currently making is a good place to begin. Most people rarely assess their eating habits and carry on eating the same foods forever. You must be realistically honest with yourself when looking at your family lifestyle and eating habits. Mark the questionable food choices as discussion points when you sit down to brainstorm a plan.

Buddy Up

If you have any friends who is worried about their health maybe you can talk to them about a healthy eating plan. This means sitting down and discussing the present state of your diet.With the information gathered from your assessment, this step should be very productive toward planning. Obtaining an objective opinion can often help when it comes to assessing ourselves. This is easily achieved if you can talk with a partner or friend with the same goal in mind. It’s true that change will be difficult, but change will be easier if you have a plan to be positive. Using the ideas that come up will help develop a plan that can actually work.

BrainStorm a Plan

An important step in creating a healthy eating plan is identifying a focus point from which to move forward successfully. Changes will have to take place and focus will let you to make those changes timely. It’s much easier to get to your destination of good health, if you have a goal to meet. Find out about healthy food choices and plan some healthy meals. Plan your diet in advance and put them in writing on the planner. Avoid taking all the responsibility of buying and preparing meals, on your own shoulders.

Prepare for Change

Bad habits are hard to change and new ones such as a healthy eating plan will require support to succeed. If your partner isn’t as enthusiastic about the change in food choices they will need a lot of support. Because this is a family affair, take it easy and avoid impulsive decisions. Approaching change in small steps over a reasonable period of time will make change gentler. Trying to take on too many changes all at once can discourage people and possible set backs in your plan. Once the new eating habits have been developed the need for partner encouragement will decrease.

Gather Momentum

To be sure your healthy eating plan is successful, try to build momentum with positive energy. At times one partner or another may need more encouragement than at other times. Make a promise to support each other in the process of change and be there for each other. Keep in mind to allow everyone have a role in fulfilling the plan. Everyone will have something positive and constructive to offer toward the completion of your plan so let it out. Getting excited will allow you to stick to your plan and change your lifestyle.